There are so many stories to be told. So many young … innocent … boys and girls … who have experienced the heinous acts of sexual predators, at some point in their lives. But there are still so few that come forward to speak of their experiences, the trauma, the loss of innocence, or the struggles they continue to have. And … the sexual predators … continue to maintain their power.
I came across Joe’s story, the other day. I contacted him. He was gracious enough to allow me to share his story in my blog. I am honored by his trust and confidence in me. I am grateful that he is willing to share so that others may also find the strength to come forward. The only way to take the power away from the predators is to talk to our very small children about predators … and, for those unfortunate to have experienced sexual molestation … in any degree … to … tell someone.
I am always here to listen.
Below is Joe’s story. I have not altered or edited anything below.
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Joe Lovell
May 18 at 6:04 PM ·
I needed to take time to get my thoughts together before trying to put this into words. In the past I haven’t always practiced patience.
Yesterday I read a post that sent forty-five years of bad memories in motion. The post was regarding the death of someone that made a significant impact on my life, and it was most definitely not a good experience.
I don’t recall the exact month, but in 1972 I was molested. Unfortunately this wasn’t the first time. Two years earlier, during the sixth grade, I was the target of a pedophile that lived in our community. By the Grace of God a family member showed up before the sicko could get any further than pulling my pants down. I was terrified and crying but he quickly made me believe it was my fault and I would be in big trouble if I told anyone. I would later learn this is how they operate.
I never said anything to anyone, then it happened again two years later. I was walking home from work one night, yes, I was already working in the eight grade, when another adult male stopped and offered me a ride home. Why would I think twice? He was a cop! Once I was inside the car he reached over and put his hand on my crotch. At first I froze because I couldn’t believe what was happening. I then moved his hand. A few seconds later he grabbed me again. I again moved his hand and told him to stop and let me out. Nothing else was said and I didn’t tell anyone. Who was going to believe a cop, a Vietnam vet and married father of two would do such a thing?
Some time later there was a lot of talk around the neighborhood. It was clear this was his regular practice. I still kept it to myself, mostly out of shame.
Well into my late twenties I was visiting with my mother when she told me the first individual had died of a heart attack. It wasn’t until that moment that I told her what had happened, but I still didn’t say anything about the second time. She was shocked but then understood why I never wanted to go fishing with him again.
I carried a lot of grief and shame for a long time. Those two events made me doubt myself. I kept wondering why was this sort of behavior coming from grown men. As I grew up I had very few male friends. Heck, to this day I have very few male friends. The experiences left me unable to trust men. There was always the little kid in me afraid they had an agenda. I gravitated to women which was just fine with me.
A few years ago I ran across a Facebook post from the same cop that had been molesting God only knows how many young boys forty years ago. After I made contact I asked if he was the same person that was a patrolman when I was growing. Not only did he confirm, he started hitting on me in the chat. I wanted to puke! At that point I asked if he was still a pedophile and roaming the streets for young boys. Crickets! He disappeared and he never contacted me again.
When I heard he was dead, it opened a flood of bad memories. It was especially heartbreaking to learn his behavior went on until 1987 when there was at least enough evidence to get him off the police force. I have since read transcripts of what led up to his dismissal. Actually, he resigned rather than appear in a hearing and have to take the stand to save his job. That speaks volumes!
Not only was this pervert a policeman and in a controlling position of authority, he was also deeply entrenched with the Boy Scouts. I dread to think about how many young boys were victims. The transcripts also details the Boy Scouts investigation and his removal.
I am sharing this for one reason and one reason only. I know there are thousands of others that need to speak up. There’s no reason the victims should carry the burden. Our communities are littered with pedophiles that continue to get away with it simply because the victims believe the lie.
If you have been a victim of pedophilia, or know someone that has, please speak up. These sickos do not stop unless the get caught or die.
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Debbie Barth: 5/22/2019 at 5:58 pm EDT
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